never alone

today is World Suicide Prevention Day, a day that is truly important. mental health has long been a taboo subject, something that people dont talk about due to fear of being thought as being crazy, a bit of a freak and all of the above. finally people are beginning to talk about it more, tell people their stories and tell the world what its really like.

it is easy to think that you are alone, that there is no one to help or understand or simply to stick by you when things are truly shit. this world is a cruel place, bad things happen to good people, to the old, to the young, there is no discrimination. sometimes it feels as though there is no coming back from the bad. sometimes it feels as though the bad horrible darkness will simply swallow you whole. it takes everything you love and enjoy a way step by step till your alone and scared and dont know what to do. and there is nothing scarier. sometimes you simply feel nothing, hear nothing, just feel like a shell of a human. there is nothing worse than that feeling. there is nothing worse then waking up in the morning and thinking do i really have to do this again.

people will tell you that you are amazing, brave, strong, a beautiful person in all ways but that doesnt mean that you hear it. but just because you dont hear it or dont believe it, it doesnt mean its not true. everyone in this world is unique and experiences this world in their own special world. and every single person should know that they are special. hearing that its going to get better might at the time feel like the worse thing to ever hear, and believe me i know how bloody annoying it can be to be told that but it will. you are never alone and often it can take one person who will make you realise that. and as cheesy as this sounds that person might be you. everyone deserve to know that they are special and amazing and beautiful. and to have faith. faith in that you can get through the dark, numb feelings. it wont be easy and it might be the hardest thing you will ever have to do but when you do, you will realise how strong you are.

there might be times when you think, i cant do it anymore, iv been there, and i cried and i broke down, stopped eating properly, didnt sleep for days or slept too much, and it was one of the worse times of my life, but you can get through it. and there have been times since where things started getting bad again, when i simply thought this is it, this is what my life is going to be, long periods of time where dark and sad and horrible with intermittent moments of happiness. but i took one step at a time and im happy again. i know that i will probably face this my whole life, and thats okay, its who i am and im no longer ashamed of that.

it will be hard and there will be times when it feels like maybe its not worth it anymore. but take a step back and look at yourself, because i promise you, you are loved by someone. and there will always always be someone who can help.

on a day like today, it is important to remember that anyone can be suffering, feeling scarred and alone and it is so important that we remind each other that there is something uniquely special about us, and that no one is alone.

if you have ever felt like it was all too much please find help, and trust me when i say this someone will be there for you.

im going to leave you with one of my favourite quotes which i have above my mirror when things get bad, because it makes me want to be strong when i feel as though the world is against me.

"the world breaks everyone, and afterwards some are strong at the broken places" Earnest Hemingway

Theres always someone who will listen:
www.samaritans.org