memories....

iv been thinking about writing this post all day while standing at working cleaning and making coffees all these thoughts came into my head but now that its come to it iv forgotten most of it. it probably doesnt help that its 11.15 at night, i have to get up crazy early for a train in the morning and im not sure that i have gotten over the weekend.

but speaking of this weekend it was thinking about this at work that got me thinking of other things. basically i went out this weekend and got insanely drunk with some of the best people i know! i am fairly certain that when i woke up on sunday that i was still drunk and when i looked through my phone with my friend who had stayed at all the pictures we took especially her as most of them are of her face i couldnt stop laughing. it could have been the alcohol still in my system and the lack of sleep  but i think it may have been because of a fun night. we also discovered that there is such thing as a trolleyturnup, (theres meant to be a hashtag but i cant seem to find it on my laptop!) who knew huh? but the point of this post is not about the night out itself but rather the people i was with. i think its when you have been through times that arent the easiest or there has been a massive change that you begin to realise the amazing people around you. and i know i talk about this a lot but it is so easy to forget but on saturday i really did think, my friend simply are the best despite the large number of shots they made me do for saying a word that had been banned! but despite the hangover it was worth it for the memories and i am pleased to say that i remember the whole night.

i think its easy to forget that we are young and to grow up too quickly. thats not always a bad think but i know from personal experience i have always acted older than i am, and iv been happy, but now i simply want to have fun, say stupid things, do equally stupids things and make mistakes! life isnt perfect, its never going to be because then it would be too easy. and also i think a perfect life would get boring.

i know that im a little bit crazy, insecure and crazy awkward in social situations, im the one who trys to be funny sometimes and people dont get it but thats what makes me, me and im learning to love that. but what i have also realised is that my friends are also a little bit crazy, but they are also funny, kind and loyal. and its because of them that im  beginning to come out of my shell a little, that im showing more of who i really am. i guess you could say im shy but when i really know someone the weirdest shit comes out of my mouth. but despite this im lucky to have amazing friends. and it is with these people that i am making new awesome memories.

because when we are older, married, settled down and whatever it is these memories that we are going to have. i have some amazing memories from the last five years, venice for my 21st, rome, being with someone who i loved and made me feel special. but now i feel like i am finally ready to move on and make new memories with some of my favourite people. i will always treasure those memories, but its good to let go of the past. it is our past that makes us the people that we are today, how we were at school, in our teens, our first kiss, our first serious relationship and our first break up, but it is how we deal with all of this, as well as the people in our lives that change us, and make us the decent human beings we hope we are.

so look at the past and remember but we are always making new memories, although sometimes in the case of alcohol it can be hard to remember them, and that is what makes life exciting doing crazy things, making mistakes and not knowing whats going to happen next. oh and remember it is your insecurities that make you, just dont let them overpower you cause most of the time it isnt worth it, and all those people in your life love you for who you are, awkwardness and all.