letting go

so as i have said before it hasnt been an easy the last few weeks in fact month, but i have just come back from going away. it was amazing being away for a number of reasons, one no internet, at first scary not having communication with the rest of the world but also nice. two, East Devon is stunning, and three i got time to myself, and time to think.

i said before that its good sometimes to put yourself out there and to take risks and i stand by that, i believe you should, even if the likely outcome is hurt. sometimes if you believe something enough theres every chance that it might work out. and it is sometimes this time away what can really make you realise what it is that you want in life, or how to find your happiness again. but there has to be a point when you have to let go. even if you believe that it could make you happy, but theres a point when you cant be treated badly anymore, or wait for people to realise what they are letting go. it might be hard and it certainly hurts but sometimes you have to look out for yourself and do what you need.

iv also learned that its okay to cry, cause sometimes that what you need to do, have a breakdown and cry letting go of all the hurt and sadness. that what one of my closest friends told me and shes right. iv been holding on for so long, trying to be strong and telling everyone that im going to be okay when all iv wanted to do is cry and breakdown, and after that it can make you feel so much better, although it might not always be the case.

iv also decided on the advise of my beautiful friend that each week i get a treat so that i have something to look forward to something each week, and iv done this before and it can help. even if its simply painting your nails. so thats what im going to do!

i guess this small post is simply trying to say that its okay to let go of something when you cant see it ever working out or you simply cant wait anymore. you are worth so much more than that, and you should never think otherwise. just because you might suffer depression, anxiety or anything else, it does not make you worth less than anyone else. in many cases it just shows how strong you are. because everyday it can be a challenge, and putting yourself out there when most wouldnt shows to the world what an incredible person you are. and often people realise what they lost when its too late. so take everyday as it comes, and each day treat yourself, it can simply be a cup of tea or a bar or chocolate and let go of the past and all the hurt because it is not worth it.